There’s a scene in Lifetime’s House of Versace* when Gina Gershon-as-Donatella says: “This is all I have left to give." The scene is referring to her last shot she has to be successful.

That sentiment is a great line of dialogue, but for creative professionals I believe we always have something more to give. I certainly do! Often, capitalism is the devil on our shoulders that can affect our ability to make decisions. That conversations with our innermost selves might go something like this:

“I need to write for myself!”

“But I need to make money.”

“But it’s healthy to write for myself!”

“But it’s time I could spend making money.”

“Do both?”

Now, this conversation with yourself becomes infinitely more complicated when you factor in your health, your situation, and the vast amount of unknowns and industry chaos—especially now.

I’m right there with you.

I’ve been reframing those inner voices. Now, I recognize that all the writing I do (and have done) has been for myself. I don’t write because I want to see my name on the cover of a book. I write because I am a writer. Full stop. What happens afterward? Well, I can control what’s on the page. I can entertain offers. I can make decsisions about business. And, after any manuscript is finished, I can decide what to do next. Beyond that? All of the erotemes*. All of them.

A question mark, dear Reader, is far, far better for me than an exclamation or, worse, a string of irate punctuation marks. At the moment, I can’t set any expectations because the publishing industry as a whole—books, comics, gaming—is changing too fast for me to keep up. (Both creatively and trade-wise.) I’m simply not sure where I’ll be in three, six, even nine months. and I know many, many authors who are in that exact same position.

In my experiences, the uncertainty has always been there to varying degrees because change is inevitable. After all, publishing is much, much bigger than you might think. (I use the words “publishing industry,” but that phrase doesn’t reflect its size nor the industries that fall beneath that umbrella. The way I look at this chaotic situation, is simple: I can’t do anything about the sweeping changes, so instead, I’m going to focus on what I can and forget the rest.

Right now, this means concentrating on having more good days than bad days.*** We said good-bye to our black cat recently, and his brother is even older so that’s been on my mind. The weather is still gorgeous, I’m gearing up for Round Two Thousand and Thirty-Seven of getting my proverbial house in order, and I’m slowly attacking those “big picture” goals on my pandemic list.

This doesn't mean I don’t have bad days. Things have been hard, but they’ve also been great—just like it has been for so many other people. And with COVID-19, monkeypox, climate change, ideological wars, etc? Most people are just doing the best they can to get through their day. I try to be mindful of the fact that no matter what happens, it could always be worse. Always.

Besides… I like mysteries! Just have to dive right in and see where this particular path goes.

What about you? How are you doing?

* Look, sometimes I watch stuff that's comfortable and not necessarily critically-acclaimed to turn off my brain. I thought Gina Gershon did a great job. And yes, I ignored most of the accents and some of the casting. Because oof.

** An eroteme is a word used in journalistic circles to describe an interrogation mark, like a question mark. No, this is probably the wrong usage of that word, but it sounds cool doesn't it? Like a team of investigators Eros puts together. HAH!

*** Many, many thanks and eternal gratitude to Thich Nhat Hahn and his books about Buddhism.